This plate measures 7.5” in diameter. It features a crescent moon built in relief and is dipped in deep indigo glaze. It was made for the ritual of Tenaim (read about that below). It can also be kept whole, shared as an engagement gift— the intent to shatter it is not a requirement!

About Tenaim:

When I was initially asked to create a plate for the Ashkenazic custom of “Tenaim”, meaning “the conditions of marriage”, I was only vaguely familiar with the practice. In this ceremony, dating somewhere from the 12^th to 19^thcentury, the Tenaim celebration kicked off the journey toward matrimony for Jewish couples. It’s like an engagement party—the first time the betrothed announce their intentions to build a future together.  Like many Jewish marriage traditions, Tenaim is by no means required by Jewish law and since its origins relate to outdated practices like securing the financial terms of marriage (dowry, for example), it lost popularity in modern times.

The part of the ceremony I am most drawn to is the tradition of smashing a piece of dishware after the engagement is announced. In some communities, all of the guests bring something to smash on the floor. There is also a tradition that the mothers-in-law-to-be break the plate to symbolize the imminent separation of mother and child. After the plate breaking, the party begins. In some communities, the pieces of the broken plate are given out to unmarried guests, a talisman of good luck in finding a life partner for themselves.

In a practical sense for today’s engaged couples, this formal engagement marker does highlight a time frame wherein serious topics ought to be discussed—all of the potentially touchy things like money/jobs, yay or nay to having kids, choosing where to live, how theoretical children would be raised, from which part of the toothpaste tube to squeeze, etc. 

To learn more about Tenaim at MyJewishLearning.com or in Anita Diament’s book, The Jewish Wedding Now.